A new habit

It's February. It has been almost 11 months since we finished the home study process. Waiting is fine some days, but other days it is heart-wrenching.

In January, my mom came to visit, and I showed her our nursery room and told her about the ways I wanted to change the furniture. She helped me move things around, and now it's much more open and looking like a little Baby Latona should be coming home to sleep there. It's not 100% bring the baby home now perfect, but I definitely like it better. We still need to empty the closet of David's books & papers, then there will be room for baby's things (most of which we will acquire after s/he comes anyway, since we MIGHT not necessarily get a newborn.

So my new habit is that when I walk by that room, every day or so, I go in and put my hands on or in the crib and pray out loud for Baby Latona, for the birthmother that is carrying him/her, and for the agency & caseworkers that have come alongside us. I also pray that God will work in us to prepare us to be the parents He wants us to be. I declare my trust in His will and His timing (it helps to solidify that trust when I say it out loud).

Sometimes it is hard. I go in the room, hug that soft teddy bear, and touch some of the things that will belong to Baby Latona. That makes me feel better, but I know that lifting it all up to GOD is the best and most effective thing I can do in our situation. One day, hopefully soon, He will bring us together.

For the benefit of those who wonder about these things, the crib and dust ruffle were given to us thanks to our friend Shelly McPhaul who knew that the crib needed a home and that I needed a crib. The teddy bear was given to me by David years ago. The blue flowery pillow was made by my grandmother, who has passed away. The alphabet sampler was made by my mom and used to hang in my classroom when I was teaching elementary school. The knitted blanket and hat are from Cindy Burns, a friend from church who also does a lovely job fixing my MIL's hair every week. The outfit that says "Too cute for words" is from my sister and was worn by her children. The mattress & sheet were purchased at Target & ToysRUs, respectively, by yours truly.

P.S. - Mel, I *THINK* you gave me that outfit... correct me if I'm wrong. :-)

National Adoption Week - Thursday

In honor of National Adoption Awareness Month (US) and National Adoption Week (UK + me), I am celebrating. On Monday, I celebrated adoptive parents. On Tuesday, I celebrated birthmothers. On Wednesday, I celebrated adoptees.

Today I celebrate facilitators of adoption.

Adoption agencies - there are actually a LOT of them out there, specializing in domestic or international adoption, infants or older children. Such variety! We have been working with Covenant Care Services, and we particularly appreciate the way they minister to birthmothers before AND AFTER a baby's birth. Orphan care ministries & foster parents meet the physical needs of so many children as they wait for a family.

Case workers - these women (and men!) bring families together by working with children, government agencies (domestic & international), attorneys, adoptive families, foster parents, birth parents, medical personnel, financial supporters, and so much more! Without their services, it would be ever so difficult for adoptive families to come together. THANK YOU!!

Fund raisers - Some people are have the spiritual gift of GIVING. They are able to bless others financially and encourage friends to give too. Whether you give publicly or anonymously, to individual families or to an agency, your help is so appreciated. Organizations that provide grants & loans to adoptive families are an important part of this category as well, in my opinion. Thank you for your generosity.

Perhaps God has not called you to adopt children into your family. If that is the case, please consider what you might be able to do to be a financial blessing to an orphan care ministry or to someone who is seeking to obey the call to adopt. God might be calling you to meet a financial need so He can USE YOU to answer their prayers.

Speaking of prayers, ALL of these facilitators of adoption benefit from our prayers, and for all of them, I am thankful.

If you are a facilitator of adoption, or if you would like to brag about a case worker or benefactor, please comment. :-)

National Adoption Week - Wednesday

In honor of National Adoption Awareness Month (US) and National Adoption Week (UK + me), I am celebrating. On Monday, I celebrated adoptive parents. On Tuesday, I celebrated birthmothers.

Today, I celebrate the children of adoption.

I have been amazed by the number of people we know who were adopted into their families. As we share our developing adoption story with others, we have observed JOYFUL responses from those who said, "I was adopted" or "My brother/sister was adopted". We are SO honored to receive encouragement from adoptees. I recall that one of my high-school friends was adopted; it wasn't a weird thing, it was just a fact. She had parents just like I had parents, and our families were both upon a foundation of love. Another high-school friend had a younger sister who was adopted from an Asian country. They were such a joy-filled family.

We never really considered adopting for OUR family until we battled infertility. We assumed we would do what married people do, and that we'd get pregnant. We felt like "everyone else" had kids that way. We conveniently forgot HOW MANY families grow through adoption rather than reproduction. I am thankful now that God has called us to adopt, even if we had to deal with the infertility stuff (NOT FUN!).

We are planning to adopt an infant in a domestic adoption--this time. We are trying to be open to what God would have us do in this adoption and in the future. He may call us to pursue an international adoption, or perhaps an interracial adoption. He may burden our hearts to adopt an older child that is in the care of an orphan home (those still exist!!) or a state foster care system. Once our home study document is done, we could pursue any (or all) of these options, as God provides, but we take it one step at a time by His grace.

As usual, I invite comments from you, my friends & readers with regard to adoption. Do you remember the day you were adopted into your family, or did it happen when you were too young to remember? Do you remember the adoption of a sibling? Please feel free to share your thoughts about adoption and its effect on your life.

National Adoption Week - Tuesday

In honor of National Adoption Awareness Month (US) and National Adoption Week (UK + me), I am celebrating. On Monday, I celebrated adoptive parents.

Today, I celebrate the women and couples who have made adoption possible for families by permitting a family to adopt their biological child. My husband and I are traveling the road of adoption seeking to be adoptive parents; it is a big part of our lives, and we have shared this news with family and friends. In the midst of sharing our own journey, two women in our extended family have shared that they "gave up" a child as a young woman. While they are happy for us in our journey, the decision to forgo raising a child themselves at that point in their respective lives was a profoundly difficult one, and while they each felt they made the right decision for themselves and for the children, the memories of the past carry a great deal of emotion.

Even as I write this, I agonize over my word choices, because I do not want to choose hurtful words and diminish in any way the LOVE these women had and still have for their children, the RESPECT I have for them and their decision, the GRATITUDE I already feel toward my own child's birthmother, and the HONOR that it is for me to receive encouragement from these women and have their "stamp of approval" when they tell me that I'll be a great mom. I appreciate that they acknowledged limitations in their ability to personally be the parent they wanted their child to have at the time, and that they placed their trust in another couple to be the parents. One of these dear ladies has met her all-grown-up child and their parents and keeps in touch; the other hopes that her child is content with their adoptive family and might not search her out, for the emotional pain from that time of her life was very great.

As a prospective adoptive parent I feel a responsibility not only to my child but to his/her birthparents, especially the birthmother, who will be entrusting us with so great a treasure. May God enable me to prepare myself, prepare my home, be wise in decision-making, and to respect the need of my child's birthmother, whether it be communication from our family, or separation, or something inbetween. I think of my child's birthmother often, even though I do not yet know who she is, even though I might never even meet her. I pray for her even though I don't always know quite what to say.

Thank you, dear birthmothers, for choosing LIFE for your children and for enriching the lives of other families through adoption.

National Adoption Week - Monday

In honor of National Adoption Week, I am celebrating.

Today I celebrate my friends who have added members to their family through the gift of adoption. I am particularly happy for (1) my friends whose son joined their family within the past two weeks, (2) friends whose son entered their family just over 2 months ago, (3) and friends who will be traveling to get their son from China within the next 2 months.

We are still waiting for word on our own child(ren) who will join our home through adoption. However, we wait with HOPE.

During our adoption journey, I have met many parents with children who were born into their families in LOVE, not through their biological bodies. I can think of 6 such familes, just in my church, and there are so many more colleagues, aquaintances, friends, and even strangers that have shared their stories with me and offered encouragement. I celebrate all of you today!!

If you don't mind sharing in comments, I (and other readers) would love for you to share something special about your children and their "gotcha day".

n.b. I heard on the radio this morning that it was National Adoption Week. Evidently this is true in the UK. In the US, November is Adoption Awareness Month, and National Adoption Day is on November 20. I shall celebrate this week nonetheless!