Well, it's been about two months since our final home study visit, and we are securely in the "waiting" phase of adoption. It has been a busy time, though.
My MIL has had some urinary infections; the most recent one was a kidney infection that kept her in the hospital one night. There are still more tests to be done with regard to that situation. We are ALMOST done with follow-up appointments from the carotid artery stent she had in March. My FIL has been diagnosed with Alzheimers, which really was not a surprise. For me, it's a relief to know that his forgetfulness and general state of mild confusion HAS A NAME. Even though Alzheimers is a downhill-path, we know what that path is now, and somehow that makes it a little easier. There is much to be thankful for (perhaps a separate post is appropriate for this). Today I am taking him to the DR for a 3-month check-up that was probably supposed to happen about a month ago.
I am playing the piano! I accompanied for 8 band students and about that many voice students for recitals & festivals in early May. I also accompanied a high school chorus, played a piano duet at a school fundraiser, accompanied rehearsals for a play at our local theater, and I have a gig next Friday, playing love songs for "cocktail hour" at a wedding rehearsal dinner. Practicing has been a lot of work, but it is so much fun to play.
We are preparing to travel and take my MIL to see her sister in PA. It has been five years since Mom has been up there, and she is really looking forward to the adventure. Dad has declared that he wants to go with Mom (even though he used to HATE traveling...) so there's plenty of busyness to be had with the whole TRAVEL thing.
We are preparing to host David's brothers & sister for Dad's 90th birthday. It has been years since we have all been together (the last time was at our wedding), and we are looking forward to travel plans being in place so we can talk it up with Dad that his kids are coming to see him for his birthday. If we say it enough times, he might get to enjoy the expectation of their arrival. If not, at least he'll enjoy the surprise. :-)
We are waiting and praying for our baby. With each new medical "emergency" and situation, I tell the Lord one more time that I trust HIS timing, and that I am willing to serve Him by caring for my elderly family members. He knows my heart and my desire to be a mom, and as far as our adoption goes, "He's on it!!!"
May 25, 2010
May 2, 2010
Paper Pregnant
Well, it's official. We have completed the home study for our adoption and turned in our profile books for birth mothers to view; now we are "waiting for a placement". It's a succinct and starchy summary of the reality that we could become parents AT ANY TIME. Wow.
Scenario 1: At any time, our caseworker could call us and say, "We have a situation to discuss with you..." and tell us about a birthmom, when she's due to give birth, the circumstances of the pregnancy & delivery, and all of the "stuff" that adoptive parents want to know. We might find out that this nice young lady loved the profile book we made and that she chose us to be her baby's parents, wants to meet us, wants us to be at the birth, which will probably happen in 5 weeks or so... then we'll count down to the big day when we bring our baby home and begin parenting.
Scenario 2: At any time, our caseworker could call us and say, "We have a situation to discuss with you..." and tell us about a birthmom who liked our profile and picked us to be her baby's parents. She will tell us lots of information about the birthmom and the baby, and if it is one we are comfortable with, she will ask us how soon we can come to the agency and pick up our baby. This may occur if a birth mother contacts the agency on short notice (maybe even after the baby is born), or if a birth mother chooses us with some time left in her pregnancy, but for some reason or another the case workers are not sure if she is solid in her decision for adoption. If this latter situation happens, we might still meet with the birth mother, but a lot of that depends on what she wants. In this second scenario, we could realistically get less than 24 hours notice that our baby is HERE, and drop everything to go get him or her.
So, when people ask me now about how the adoption process is going, or when we expect to get our baby, the best answer I can give is that we are waiting. We don't know which scenario will be our reality, and God may choose to put his own fingerprint and unique spin on the situation. He is amazing like that. We have now been waiting for a little over a month; average wait time is about a year. I know a family that waited less than 3 months to get their son, and another family who waited about 10 weeks for their daughter; I also know a family who waited 2 years for their son.
The way I look at it, I've been waiting a long time to be a mom, and there's no use in being impatient about it now. I need to be content in Christ during this season of waiting; I need to be willing to wait, yet ready to receive.
For the sake of practicality, I have acquired supplies that will see us through the first couple of days in case scenario 2 happens: a car seat, pack-n-play with a bassinet attachment, some neutral-colored onesies & sleepers... My birthday present from my sister was a miniature baby shower, so I have a pack of size 1 diapers, wipes, toys, books, formula, a pacifier, a bottle, a blanket, burp cloths, and a darling crocheted baby hat with a little pom-pom on the top (Aunt Melanie rocks...). It helps to know that WalMart is open 24 hours a day too!
For the sake of my own sanity, I have not bought a changing table or crib, I have not decorated a nursery or picked a color scheme, and I do not want my friends to throw a baby shower yet. David and I have discussed baby names, but I do not want to CHOOSE a name now and refer to our future son or daughter by that name, because I want to be able to incorporate a name that is meaningful to the baby's birth mother, if that is something that is important to her. I'm reading the BABY WISE book (thanks Mel!) and parenting magazines (thanks Tammy!) and reorganizing some of the furniture in the house so we can have a dedicated nursery room some time this summer. So, I guess you could say I'm "nesting". I am paper-pregnant, right? God is the only one who knows our due date, though.
I'm hoping to provide bloggy-updates more frequently; it's theraputic to type this stuff out and share it with my good friends. Thanks for taking the time to read... and while I've got your attention, please pray for us, for our baby, for the birthmother, and for the caseworkers that God will use to bring us together.
Scenario 1: At any time, our caseworker could call us and say, "We have a situation to discuss with you..." and tell us about a birthmom, when she's due to give birth, the circumstances of the pregnancy & delivery, and all of the "stuff" that adoptive parents want to know. We might find out that this nice young lady loved the profile book we made and that she chose us to be her baby's parents, wants to meet us, wants us to be at the birth, which will probably happen in 5 weeks or so... then we'll count down to the big day when we bring our baby home and begin parenting.
Scenario 2: At any time, our caseworker could call us and say, "We have a situation to discuss with you..." and tell us about a birthmom who liked our profile and picked us to be her baby's parents. She will tell us lots of information about the birthmom and the baby, and if it is one we are comfortable with, she will ask us how soon we can come to the agency and pick up our baby. This may occur if a birth mother contacts the agency on short notice (maybe even after the baby is born), or if a birth mother chooses us with some time left in her pregnancy, but for some reason or another the case workers are not sure if she is solid in her decision for adoption. If this latter situation happens, we might still meet with the birth mother, but a lot of that depends on what she wants. In this second scenario, we could realistically get less than 24 hours notice that our baby is HERE, and drop everything to go get him or her.
So, when people ask me now about how the adoption process is going, or when we expect to get our baby, the best answer I can give is that we are waiting. We don't know which scenario will be our reality, and God may choose to put his own fingerprint and unique spin on the situation. He is amazing like that. We have now been waiting for a little over a month; average wait time is about a year. I know a family that waited less than 3 months to get their son, and another family who waited about 10 weeks for their daughter; I also know a family who waited 2 years for their son.
The way I look at it, I've been waiting a long time to be a mom, and there's no use in being impatient about it now. I need to be content in Christ during this season of waiting; I need to be willing to wait, yet ready to receive.
For the sake of practicality, I have acquired supplies that will see us through the first couple of days in case scenario 2 happens: a car seat, pack-n-play with a bassinet attachment, some neutral-colored onesies & sleepers... My birthday present from my sister was a miniature baby shower, so I have a pack of size 1 diapers, wipes, toys, books, formula, a pacifier, a bottle, a blanket, burp cloths, and a darling crocheted baby hat with a little pom-pom on the top (Aunt Melanie rocks...). It helps to know that WalMart is open 24 hours a day too!
For the sake of my own sanity, I have not bought a changing table or crib, I have not decorated a nursery or picked a color scheme, and I do not want my friends to throw a baby shower yet. David and I have discussed baby names, but I do not want to CHOOSE a name now and refer to our future son or daughter by that name, because I want to be able to incorporate a name that is meaningful to the baby's birth mother, if that is something that is important to her. I'm reading the BABY WISE book (thanks Mel!) and parenting magazines (thanks Tammy!) and reorganizing some of the furniture in the house so we can have a dedicated nursery room some time this summer. So, I guess you could say I'm "nesting". I am paper-pregnant, right? God is the only one who knows our due date, though.
I'm hoping to provide bloggy-updates more frequently; it's theraputic to type this stuff out and share it with my good friends. Thanks for taking the time to read... and while I've got your attention, please pray for us, for our baby, for the birthmother, and for the caseworkers that God will use to bring us together.
Nov 23, 2009
Never again.
I had such a nice Saturday with my sweetie... we took a little day-trip to Columbus to eat at Carrabba's, shop, and see a movie. The order of business got a little reversed once we got up there - we went to see "The Blind Side", which I definitely recommend. The movie was absolutely wonderful. After the movie, we shopped at one store and went to Carrabba's, and dinner tasted very nice, though after the meal our server confessed it was her first day and she was extremely nervous! That provided an explanation for the not-quite-stellar service, though I find it odd that a restaurant manager would have a new server's "first day" happen on a busy Saturday night. After dinner, we shopped ... and I didn't see anything that I couldn't live without, so David was relieved. We also enjoyed pleasant conversation with one of David's coworkers and his wife; we don't know them extremely well, and it was nice to build up some friendship with them. Well, that's the good part of the story.
When we were at the movies, I was hungry because it was almost 1:30 and I had not eaten lunch (or breakfast either, really), so I wanted to have some popcorn. It had been SUCH a long time since I ate movie popcorn... with butter... I decided that even though it was RIDICULOUSLY overpriced, I would go for popcorn - and a drink. Our movie did not start until almost 2:00, so we had plenty of time to find good seats, sit and eat popcorn during "screenvision" or whatever it is, and I planned to really get our money's worth and get the FREE REFILL on the popcorn before the show started. So, four of us munched on the Large popcorn, and I ate a lot of it - I was hungry! When the previews started, I headed back to the lobby for the free refill of the popcorn and drink, feeling like I was at least getting some kind of bargain, since a lot of people don't bother to get their popcorn & drink refilled after they spend all of that money. During the movie, I continued to munch, though not as much as before. When we went to dinner, I wasn't overly hungry because I was already full of popcorn.
Fast-forward to after we got home. When we got home around 9:30pm, I was tired from a fun day, but a little nauseous. After we went to bed, the heartburn started. Heartburn, nausea, upset stomach....I know what indigestion is now, because my body was practically refusing to digest the popcorn. I was almost a Pepto commercial! Almost. I was unable to sleep b/c of the burning in my chest, and I had that awful sense that maybe I would feel better if I vomited, but that didn't happen either. I was uncomfortable all day (constant heartburn) and not hungry until the evening when I tried to appease my rebelling stomach by eating a banana, chicken broth, and plain white rice. Even when I went to bed last night, I still had the heartburn. FINALLY, though, sometime during the night, it calmed down. When I woke up this morning, I was NOT burning, and very thankful for that fact.
What makes me upset with myself is that I know movie popcorn is not the best food choice, yet I was so motivated to get my money's worth that I ate it - a whole lot of it - at the expense of my body. If the money was that important to me, I should have protected my tummy AND my wallet and not had any. But I was hungry.... so I should have chosen something different (smaller) and just paid for it, knowing that it's very rare that I even walk up to a concession stand at a movie theater, and that it's OK if I pay too much for food now and then. During the wee hours of Sunday morning, I apologized to God for having my priorities out of line - because I did! It was a stupid reason to pack away that much popcorn. I was justifying a moment of gluttony, in the name of getting bang for my buck. Well, I got some bang, that's for sure - 24 hours of heartburn. But I also got forgiveness - for being shortsighted, selfish, and stupid.
The health of my body - God's temple! - is more important than preserving a few more bucks. I know that now. God will give me grace to choose better in the future. As for movie popcorn, the large size that comes with a drink and free refill? Never again.
When we were at the movies, I was hungry because it was almost 1:30 and I had not eaten lunch (or breakfast either, really), so I wanted to have some popcorn. It had been SUCH a long time since I ate movie popcorn... with butter... I decided that even though it was RIDICULOUSLY overpriced, I would go for popcorn - and a drink. Our movie did not start until almost 2:00, so we had plenty of time to find good seats, sit and eat popcorn during "screenvision" or whatever it is, and I planned to really get our money's worth and get the FREE REFILL on the popcorn before the show started. So, four of us munched on the Large popcorn, and I ate a lot of it - I was hungry! When the previews started, I headed back to the lobby for the free refill of the popcorn and drink, feeling like I was at least getting some kind of bargain, since a lot of people don't bother to get their popcorn & drink refilled after they spend all of that money. During the movie, I continued to munch, though not as much as before. When we went to dinner, I wasn't overly hungry because I was already full of popcorn.
Fast-forward to after we got home. When we got home around 9:30pm, I was tired from a fun day, but a little nauseous. After we went to bed, the heartburn started. Heartburn, nausea, upset stomach....I know what indigestion is now, because my body was practically refusing to digest the popcorn. I was almost a Pepto commercial! Almost. I was unable to sleep b/c of the burning in my chest, and I had that awful sense that maybe I would feel better if I vomited, but that didn't happen either. I was uncomfortable all day (constant heartburn) and not hungry until the evening when I tried to appease my rebelling stomach by eating a banana, chicken broth, and plain white rice. Even when I went to bed last night, I still had the heartburn. FINALLY, though, sometime during the night, it calmed down. When I woke up this morning, I was NOT burning, and very thankful for that fact.
What makes me upset with myself is that I know movie popcorn is not the best food choice, yet I was so motivated to get my money's worth that I ate it - a whole lot of it - at the expense of my body. If the money was that important to me, I should have protected my tummy AND my wallet and not had any. But I was hungry.... so I should have chosen something different (smaller) and just paid for it, knowing that it's very rare that I even walk up to a concession stand at a movie theater, and that it's OK if I pay too much for food now and then. During the wee hours of Sunday morning, I apologized to God for having my priorities out of line - because I did! It was a stupid reason to pack away that much popcorn. I was justifying a moment of gluttony, in the name of getting bang for my buck. Well, I got some bang, that's for sure - 24 hours of heartburn. But I also got forgiveness - for being shortsighted, selfish, and stupid.
The health of my body - God's temple! - is more important than preserving a few more bucks. I know that now. God will give me grace to choose better in the future. As for movie popcorn, the large size that comes with a drink and free refill? Never again.
Nov 19, 2009
Progress!!
Well, we FINALLY have some progress on the adoption front. After doing our electronic fingerprints on September 18, 2 months and a day ago, we found out today that our clearance letters came in from the Georgia Dept of Human Resources. The background check is done, and now we can move forward with the home study process. Hooray!
After avoiding my envelope full of paperwork (because I felt like the papers inside it would probably NEVER be read by ANYONE because the stupid background check would never come in), I can get it out again and make sure I have everything done for Interview #1. I'll post again when I find out a date on that.
Speaking of dates, Mom Latona is scheduled for cataract surgery on Dec 3. Please pray for patience (long-suffering) for David & me as we help with all of the pre-op eye drops and preparations. We are supposed to administer drops twice a day starting Thanksgiving Day and increase to 4 times a day on Nov 30. Ugh. Surely I can handle it for just one week, right??
After avoiding my envelope full of paperwork (because I felt like the papers inside it would probably NEVER be read by ANYONE because the stupid background check would never come in), I can get it out again and make sure I have everything done for Interview #1. I'll post again when I find out a date on that.
Speaking of dates, Mom Latona is scheduled for cataract surgery on Dec 3. Please pray for patience (long-suffering) for David & me as we help with all of the pre-op eye drops and preparations. We are supposed to administer drops twice a day starting Thanksgiving Day and increase to 4 times a day on Nov 30. Ugh. Surely I can handle it for just one week, right??
Oct 31, 2009
Bloggy Update
So.... I've been reading some friends' blogs and feeling guilty that it's been SOOOO long since I posted anything. I decided that since it's been exactly THREE MONTHS since my last post, today shall be the day!!!
David's parents have settled in quite well in their cute little apartment. I've ferried them to multiple doctors appointments these past few weeks with their internist and cariologist, and before November is through they will have seen their new optometrist & opthamologist as well. There are still a few more doctors they need to be scheduled with, but neither Mom nor Dad has any imminent health crises, and we are so very thankful. There have been no hospitalizations this year since Mom was released after her carotid endarterectomy the first week of Jan '09!
Mom & Dad are excited about sharing David's birthday with him this year. She insisted on going shopping to buy him a gift - more than one trip!! We will be celebrating with a family dinner at Red Lobster on Sunday and an evening together on Monday Nov. 2, where we will watch DWTS together. I am planning to make a birthday cake too! I'm hoping David's gift from ME arrives in the mailbox on Monday. EEEK!
Speaking of birthdays, we are rejoicing in the birth of my sister's new son. He arrived on 10/29, and is already home from the hospital! We are so thankful that he arrived safely, and that Melanie is doing well. (Pictures are at her blog.) My mom is enjoying the early-birthday gift of a new grandson, and I know she is in her element helping at my sister's house and loving on her grandchildren.
We are in a bit of a holding pattern with the adoption process; we have to wait for our criminal background checks to be completed, and then we can begin our home study interviews with Covenant Care. We attended an information/training session in mid-August and another in mid-October, and they both went very well. We have been filling out paperwork, collecting documents, and scheduling medical exams. We've also been planning for organizational changes in our house, including having some additional shelving built into the guest room. Most importantly, though, we've been praying for the little one that God has in mind for us - for our little boy or girl and for the birth parents that will bring him into the world. It is a strange feeling, but we are more and more confident that adoption is God's will for our family. Infertility was the tool that God had to use in order to get us to open our minds to adoption, and thus, we are thankful for it.
On a lighter note, it is Oct. 31, a day I refrain from "celebrating", but I'm not planning to hide out this year... you know - lights off, no candy in the place, watching TV in the back bedroom hoping the trick-or-treaters think there's no one here. I have a crock-pot of apple cider near the front door for my neighbors, and baskets of candy to give to their children. As of 4:50pm, I've not had any little visitors yet, but I want to be a kind, safe, loving, Jesus-reflecting neighbor, even though I personally detest the "holiday" so many folks observe today. As usual, I'm not celebrating "Halloween", but I AM celebrating "End of Daylight Savings Time" !! Fall back....
David's parents have settled in quite well in their cute little apartment. I've ferried them to multiple doctors appointments these past few weeks with their internist and cariologist, and before November is through they will have seen their new optometrist & opthamologist as well. There are still a few more doctors they need to be scheduled with, but neither Mom nor Dad has any imminent health crises, and we are so very thankful. There have been no hospitalizations this year since Mom was released after her carotid endarterectomy the first week of Jan '09!
Mom & Dad are excited about sharing David's birthday with him this year. She insisted on going shopping to buy him a gift - more than one trip!! We will be celebrating with a family dinner at Red Lobster on Sunday and an evening together on Monday Nov. 2, where we will watch DWTS together. I am planning to make a birthday cake too! I'm hoping David's gift from ME arrives in the mailbox on Monday. EEEK!
Speaking of birthdays, we are rejoicing in the birth of my sister's new son. He arrived on 10/29, and is already home from the hospital! We are so thankful that he arrived safely, and that Melanie is doing well. (Pictures are at her blog.) My mom is enjoying the early-birthday gift of a new grandson, and I know she is in her element helping at my sister's house and loving on her grandchildren.
We are in a bit of a holding pattern with the adoption process; we have to wait for our criminal background checks to be completed, and then we can begin our home study interviews with Covenant Care. We attended an information/training session in mid-August and another in mid-October, and they both went very well. We have been filling out paperwork, collecting documents, and scheduling medical exams. We've also been planning for organizational changes in our house, including having some additional shelving built into the guest room. Most importantly, though, we've been praying for the little one that God has in mind for us - for our little boy or girl and for the birth parents that will bring him into the world. It is a strange feeling, but we are more and more confident that adoption is God's will for our family. Infertility was the tool that God had to use in order to get us to open our minds to adoption, and thus, we are thankful for it.
On a lighter note, it is Oct. 31, a day I refrain from "celebrating", but I'm not planning to hide out this year... you know - lights off, no candy in the place, watching TV in the back bedroom hoping the trick-or-treaters think there's no one here. I have a crock-pot of apple cider near the front door for my neighbors, and baskets of candy to give to their children. As of 4:50pm, I've not had any little visitors yet, but I want to be a kind, safe, loving, Jesus-reflecting neighbor, even though I personally detest the "holiday" so many folks observe today. As usual, I'm not celebrating "Halloween", but I AM celebrating "End of Daylight Savings Time" !! Fall back....
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