Paper Pregnant

Well, it's official. We have completed the home study for our adoption and turned in our profile books for birth mothers to view; now we are "waiting for a placement". It's a succinct and starchy summary of the reality that we could become parents AT ANY TIME. Wow.

Scenario 1: At any time, our caseworker could call us and say, "We have a situation to discuss with you..." and tell us about a birthmom, when she's due to give birth, the circumstances of the pregnancy & delivery, and all of the "stuff" that adoptive parents want to know. We might find out that this nice young lady loved the profile book we made and that she chose us to be her baby's parents, wants to meet us, wants us to be at the birth, which will probably happen in 5 weeks or so... then we'll count down to the big day when we bring our baby home and begin parenting.

Scenario 2: At any time, our caseworker could call us and say, "We have a situation to discuss with you..." and tell us about a birthmom who liked our profile and picked us to be her baby's parents. She will tell us lots of information about the birthmom and the baby, and if it is one we are comfortable with, she will ask us how soon we can come to the agency and pick up our baby. This may occur if a birth mother contacts the agency on short notice (maybe even after the baby is born), or if a birth mother chooses us with some time left in her pregnancy, but for some reason or another the case workers are not sure if she is solid in her decision for adoption. If this latter situation happens, we might still meet with the birth mother, but a lot of that depends on what she wants. In this second scenario, we could realistically get less than 24 hours notice that our baby is HERE, and drop everything to go get him or her.

So, when people ask me now about how the adoption process is going, or when we expect to get our baby, the best answer I can give is that we are waiting. We don't know which scenario will be our reality, and God may choose to put his own fingerprint and unique spin on the situation. He is amazing like that. We have now been waiting for a little over a month; average wait time is about a year. I know a family that waited less than 3 months to get their son, and another family who waited about 10 weeks for their daughter; I also know a family who waited 2 years for their son.

The way I look at it, I've been waiting a long time to be a mom, and there's no use in being impatient about it now. I need to be content in Christ during this season of waiting; I need to be willing to wait, yet ready to receive.

For the sake of practicality, I have acquired supplies that will see us through the first couple of days in case scenario 2 happens: a car seat, pack-n-play with a bassinet attachment, some neutral-colored onesies & sleepers... My birthday present from my sister was a miniature baby shower, so I have a pack of size 1 diapers, wipes, toys, books, formula, a pacifier, a bottle, a blanket, burp cloths, and a darling crocheted baby hat with a little pom-pom on the top (Aunt Melanie rocks...). It helps to know that WalMart is open 24 hours a day too!

For the sake of my own sanity, I have not bought a changing table or crib, I have not decorated a nursery or picked a color scheme, and I do not want my friends to throw a baby shower yet. David and I have discussed baby names, but I do not want to CHOOSE a name now and refer to our future son or daughter by that name, because I want to be able to incorporate a name that is meaningful to the baby's birth mother, if that is something that is important to her. I'm reading the BABY WISE book (thanks Mel!) and parenting magazines (thanks Tammy!) and reorganizing some of the furniture in the house so we can have a dedicated nursery room some time this summer. So, I guess you could say I'm "nesting". I am paper-pregnant, right? God is the only one who knows our due date, though.

I'm hoping to provide bloggy-updates more frequently; it's theraputic to type this stuff out and share it with my good friends. Thanks for taking the time to read... and while I've got your attention, please pray for us, for our baby, for the birthmother, and for the caseworkers that God will use to bring us together.